You must let her be.
Free birds are meant to soar
If you try to contain her, she will roar.
As what you think you are protecting her from
Are simply fears she longs to overcome.
Because when the wind moves her wild hair
She knows there is nothing she cannot bear.
So, let her splash mud on her young face
While she twirls in fields of grace.
The desire within her continues to burn.
Don’t you get it? Getting lost in the world is what’ll make her learn.
Classrooms and textbooks are simply a safety net.
I promise you, learning through life is the best lesson yet.
Please, do not lock her in a room.
It will set her up for an eternity of doom.
As the feeling of twirling on a foreign, desolate beach
Is something a professor cannot teach.
She will learn through moments, unique souls, earth and travel
It will teach her how life truly unravels.
You see, this is her time to grow.
Let her jump, and watch her soar.
I want to be a writer.
I want to inspire the heck out of others.
I want people to see every color of my thoughts.
I want to paint peoples minds with my ideas and aspirations.
I want to make a difference through words.
I want to document on paper that I am in a cheap, colorful hostel in a completely foreign town eating day old rice with my dirt- stained hands while dripping in sweat.
I want people to read this and feel how completely and utterly alive this very moment makes me feel.
However people perceive my writing, whatever they take from it and what feelings it forced them to feel, I want them to feel it.
I want somebody to put down my paper and think “wow.”
Whether they need to curl into a ball and cry, climb a mountain, or dance in the streets; I just want my words to make others simply feel.
Friends, family, and strangers… I want to show the world how beautiful every moment is, as they see my moments of darkness and light through a story. Through my story.
I want somebody to feel the way my heart beats to the jungle and want to dance the way I dance when I finally hear music after ages of technology silence.
I want to show people how beautiful life is.
I want readers to feel my ten hour, treacherous bus rides and breathe as deeply as I do when I finally hop off that bus and walk barefoot into a world I have never yet been immersed into.
Beaches, cities, jungles, towns and villages.
I want people to soak in the feeling of being aimlessly dropped into an entirely foreign environment each and every day, and making it a home until it is time to find a new one.
I want people to read that “home is within” and truly believe it.
I want people to feel as free as the ocean breeze from my thoughts and put down my story knowing they are enough, knowing they can do every last thing they strive to do, and that if they dare, they too can do cartwheels naked on a deserted beach and look over the entire country of Nicaragua on a thousand year old, white rooftop.
I want people to know that their every last dream can become a reality within the blink of an eye if they learn to believe in themselves and the universe the way I have.
I’ve been inspired by every new face, new environment I have stumbled into, and I want to do the same in return.
The sparkles in my eyes, butterflies in my stomach, and ideas in my mind will soon flood onto a paper for the world to see, and I will inspire everybody the way everything has inspired me.
Just wait, one day, I am going to make the world feel.
Earth beneath my feet.
The mother sun bringing me heat.
Twirling in my skirt.
My toes digging into the dirt.
Flying like the birds and the bees
As the jungle trees watch over me.
The look of freedom in my eyes.
This is so real, so raw I could cry.
I stop, close my eyes and feel
And now know what it is like to heal.
As when the earth runs through my veins
I no longer remember the feeling of pain.
I have waited so long to feel this.
I want to give every flower, every leaf a kiss.
In a world of fast pace
I wish everybody would stop, take a moment to feel this grace.
As this is what society craves.
To feel alive as the ocean waves.
Take a moment to feel the breeze.
The world is calling you.
Look up at the sky, feel the blue.
Allow life to wash all over you.
Overcome your fear.
It is an illusion we create that a life of experience will cure.
It is time to stop just existing.
No more hesitating, no more resisting.
This life invites you in.
I know that must bring shivers to your skin.
Because the unknown is a fright.
Which is why we must climb to great heights.
To experience everything at its greatest measures
And treat every moment like a treasure.
So, dance with flowers rather than silver and gold
And watch the way your life will unfold.
The earth is free, so let’s all simply stop and be.
I promise you, if you stop and feel
You too will heal.
Ah, traveling alone.
Taking off solo to a foreign country, with no itinerary, four days after my eighteenth birthday.
No Spanish needed in Costa Rica, right?
I may have guessed prior that my greatest lessons along this journey would entail: finding transportation, finding somewhere safe to sleep every night, budgeting, and the whole language barrier situation.
Little did I know, the greatest lessons of all, would only entail skills to travel alone, but how to really be with myself throughout the process.
You see, I’m a people person. I love talking to others, sharing thoughts and ideas, and having constant friends surrounding me.
My overrun extrovert personality has gotten me far too used to relying on others company to have fun.
Getting lost has not been the scary part, no… It’s getting lost alone. The things that have triggered my every fear has been the lonesomeness of simply my own thoughts on a ten hour bus ride, or in a cheap hostel solo. Its the quiet dips in the ocean and navigating a scary town with only the company of myself to walk me through the day. The constant desire for a presence greater then my own at every waking moment of my alone time, in fear of what my mind truly may come up with when in freedom of distractions of others.
And now, 14 days into my solo excursion through Costa Rica, the quiet ocean swims, astray midnight walks, and lonesome bus rides are what I live for.
I have learned to not only love, but appreciate and cherish the every chance I get to be simply be with my own presence.
I no longer feel the need for constant companion, as the only companion I absolutely need is my very own.
This evening at Punta Mona, the rain poured on us harder then ever.
Breaking free of everybody, I found my way to the beach to take a quiet dip in the ocean.
The shore had a thick, lonely mist to it. My only company was the grumbling sounds of howler monkeys in the distance.
Already soaked, I waded into the Caribbean sea. And, just like the rain, the ocean had the perfect warmth to it.
I was no longer afraid of entering the stormy, angry ocean all alone. I felt peace with myself and simply enjoyed being in my own head.
Although a thick fog clogged the entire sky, and rapid raindrops tumbled onto the sea, the water remained crystal clear, and oddly calm.
Lacking a single wave in sight, I watched fish swarm my ankles in a frantic, as teardrops flew from the sky.
Water meeting water.
This was a moment only I will ever be able to comprehend. The sights, the feelings, the sounds and the oh, so distinct smells… indescribable.
Drippings of warm water created miniature puddles on the crystal glass surrounding me.
Heavy fog blanketed the entire coastline.
Restless clouds danced above my free, naked body.
The smell of sweet, fresh rain and crispy, humid air.
The sounds of trickling water on water and singing monkeys, tuning in with the rains harmony.
I floated on my back and howled with the jungle, thanking the universe for bringing me here.
I have begun to love myself enough to simply love the company of my own, and for that I am so, so alive.